One is Not the Loneliest Number
By Christopher Nelson - 20 Feb 20
For three hours I stared at the darkened highway just beyond the glow of the headlights, used one finger to hold the steering wheel straight, and stayed silent so as to not wake Shaun Guardado of Suicide Machine Co., curled into a ball in the fully reclined passenger seat. I listened to the audiobook version of Cormac McCarthy’s Blood Meridian, Or the Evening Redness in the West for the fifth time, and as the sun climbed out from behind the Sierra Nevadas I was stung by words I know too well: “The way of the world is to bloom and to flower and die but in the affairs of men there is no waning and the noon of his expression signals the onset of night. His spirit is exhausted at the peak of its achievement. His meridian is at once his darkening and the evening of his day.” I muttered to myself, “Poignant,” and then Shaun rolled over, his eyelids folded back, and with a exhausted smile he asked, “Can you define ‘poignant’?”
We parked the Sprinter a few blocks down from the Jupiter Hotel, where Harley-Davidson hosted a pre-party, and in a naïve hope of further lifting my mood I decided to drink more than two beers, which is unheard of, especially if I’m in a city with legalized marijuana. At 4 A.M. I stepped out of a hot tub a pruned mess and slipped on the flagstone patio, and when I did I cut the inside of my left big toe on a serrated edge of rock. I had come to an oddly decorated, pale-wood, adult-size doll house jammed between a tire shop and a junk yard, bunking with the gracious editors of Iron & Air Magazine, who bandaged me with toilet paper and electrical tape, cleaned the horror show of blood that gushed from the wound, and in the morning drove me to the hospital to get four stitches.
“It’s Thor’s brain turned inside out” is how Dutch describes the One show, an outrageous spectacle that attracts an overwhelmingly eclectic crowd of motorcycles and people to Portland in early February. The man who brought us Burt Furnace outdid himself this year and pulled together an outlandish motorcycle event, bigger than ever before, with oddball motorcycles, amazing artwork, and interesting vendors scattered about two sprawling floors of the 197,000-square-foot downtown arena. I spent a little time on the upper level—gawking at Hill Hudson’s handmade Bullet 500, chatting up the ladies of ATWYLD, and getting a massage at Sorceress Hands—but I preferred the ground floor, where the main custom bike show was held.
I walked into the dimly lit room and felt immediately drawn to the handmade FXRT fairing on Royal-T Racing’s turbocharged Harley-Davidson, which took home the “One” best-of-show award. Next to it was Carbon e Metalli’s “Lunar Project”—an Apollo 11-themed, two-stroke KTM 250 GS with a 3D-printed swingarm made of carbon fiber and titanium—and behind that was Roland Sands’ ’07 BMW R1200 GS, made to look like a ’85 Paris-Dakar race bike, with a tail-mount Pelican case “emergency kit” that included a pack of Marbolo Reds, a can of Budweiser, and a mini bottle of Jäger.
In a corner of the room Super73 offered demo rides of its all-new R-series e-bike, and in the middle of the room, next to See See’s coffee stand, Indian built itself an island of baggers and offered airbrushed tattoos; the real tattoo artists worked in a room just down the hall, next to a room filled with arcade games and pinball machines. I walked until my big toe howled, and then ordered chicken and “guns,” or crispy potatoes, from Chicken and Guns, and found a comfortable leather chair at the Ascot booth with a clear of view of my Sportster, standing tall next to a slammed ’62 Lincoln Continental.
